LABY INBOX.

[malleiform]

un: talis
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[notachickenhawk]

<It feels like I don't... but the war's over and it's not even here. I'm still locked into that - that setting of being always on guard.>

[He'd shaken it a little when he was last here, but now... he's not sure if it'll be easier or harder to shake.]

[But at least Jayce isn't lying to him, not trying to keep him happy with advice that means nothing. That's something. That has to be worth something.]

<I... sorry. I just... I just don't know what to do. I'm so restless but everything reminds me of her.>

[malleiform]

It may be some time.

[ He sees no sense in lying about it to him. There's some things people simply don't ever shed. He doesn't know if Tobias will or not. Maybe in time He's not been able to shed what he went through at home. It's always challenging to deal with complex challenges - especially like war. ]

What did you do on your own to keep busy before? Was there a task you had that you always did? Like - I used to work at the forge on my own.

[notachickenhawk]

<Hunt. I mean, I am a hawk. Other than that, in human morph... I draw sometimes. I used to go people-watch. Or read. I used to read a lot when I was younger, but they don't really let birds in the library.>

[He tries to keep his tone light for that last bit, but there's still a lot of bitterness in his tone.]

<I used to go to school, but they don't let birds sit in on classes either.>

[malleiform]

[ That makes sense. Of course it makes sense. Like Tobias says - he's a hawk. ]

Well, I imagine a bird can be pretty distracting in a classroom. Or library.

[ If nothing else, he can play along with that, at least. ]

You prefer to remain as a hawk, I assume?

[ It sounds genuine coming from Jayce. He's seen another form when all of those things were attacking. The quadruped creature that wasn't quite a horse, but still was similar. ]

[notachickenhawk]

<I do. It's easier to just... avoid the things that are a problem when you're a hawk. It's been my 'base' form for three years now. It's just... who I am.>

[He's a predator now, whether he likes it or not. He can't deny that fact.]

[malleiform]

I understand.

[ As much as he can. ]

Then you should be a hawk for as long as you need.

[ He sighs. ]

I hope, in time, you'll feel a little better. Bit by bit. It's not as though you've had much time to process anything, right?

[notachickenhawk]

<... Right. You're right. I don't even know where to start to 'process' things, but it's... a lot. I guess... time. I need time. To find a new normal... without her.>

[He'd been without her here, but it's... it was different knowing she was waiting for him at home. Now that she's gone...]

<Sorry for uh... barging in on you.>

[malleiform]

You have to allow yourself to take time. It won't fix everything, but...it helps you do exactly as you said - find a new normal.

[ He glances around the room. ]

It's alright. My partner's not home right now. And he wouldn't be bothered anyway.

[ He thinks, at least. ]

[notachickenhawk]

<I... appreciate it. I just... I didn't know who to go to.>

[And Jayce has been good to him, so he thought maybe it... would work.]

[malleiform]

You're welcome here.

[ And he means pretty much anytime he wants. ]

It's safe here.

[notachickenhawk]

<I appreciate it.>

[He just... needs to rest. Maybe it'll be a dream... a terrible dream.]

[malleiform]

Just tell me if you need anything.

[ He knows what it means to be grieving someone you care about. His grief got swept away when he got here, but it's still there because it still happens. ]